Konoha 13 - strong, confident, drunk?
by ParaMia
Summary: Curious to know more about the different types of drunk shinobi? Then follow me to Ino's party - a mystic land of happiness and wild creatures: a sentimental Shino, a way too touchy Hinata and of course Sasuke and his new best friend: the karaoke machine. Rated T for language.
1. Prologue

'ello, this is the prologue, since I felt like writing one.  
Just so you know how their situations are: kiddos are around 19-20 years old and no handsome Hyuuga was harmed.

The possibility that Naruto will ever belong to me is as realistic as Taylor Swift and I getting back together.

Also: English is my second (to be really exact my third) language, so please don't be mad. I'm thankful for every help though!

Hope, you enjoy! Stay awesome.

* * *

Konoha 12. Well actually, they are 13 now.

Konoha 13.

Everyone knew who they were.

„They may be the strongest of their generation."

„Every kid desires to be like them"

„I heard they finally hit puberty! I wonder when they start liking each other..."

„Some of them should have been promoted to jonin years ago!"

Yes. The villagers of Konoha were quite fond of them. Even of the last Uchiha standing, although it took quite a while for half of them to welcome him back to town. Not that he cared. After being punched and kicked to senses by his former teammates, he finally decided to let the past go and return into his old apartment. Of course he threw away the posters and action figures of his favourite anime characters he loved when he was 12 – Sasuke was a real man now!

His best friend Naruto reduced the colour orange on his everyday-gear, although it cost him a few hidden tears. But he was said that "no girl finds orange to be sexy and masculine and mature!" So how? HOW could he, in his childish bright shirt, ever get a serious date with his pink-haired goddess? Although... _'__Did Hinata always look so cute when she smiles__...?'_ Still he continued on meeting Konohamaru in the forest every Sunday afternoon to perfect their favourite jutsu.

Sakura finally let go off her feelings towards Sasuke. She said she could never love someone who clearly won't return it. She concentrated on her career as one of the most talented medic-nins and wore her hair the way she liked.

Although it took him quite while, countless of manuals and a few black eyes, Sai knew how it was to feel different kinds of things. Sometimes all at the same time. "Emotions are confusing" he often mumbled while drawing landscapes and naked people, but couldn't help to smile afterwards... He finally knew and especially felt what he was talking about.

Weeks after the war, the loss of their fathers was, what used to keep Ino and Shikamaru awake at night. It was a deep, stinging kind of pain no one else could mend but themselves. It was said that they often met each other in the darkest hours of the night to just not feel alone. When they felt better, their friends realized that although they lost their closest family member they gained one more. Also Ino concentrated more on her career as well and seemed to forget about Sasuke more and more everyday and Shikamaru... well, if there was a prize for avoiding the most obvious things, him and Temari would be the winners. They still managed to keep cool, whenever someone teases them about hiding their relationship, because well. That'd be too troublesome.

Choji started a diet and was now a fitness coach. Naa, just kidding. He still loved Korean bbq and pork chips. If anything had changed, it was his hair. After the war he had this weird hair-change-phase, so he bleached and colored and cut the hell he wanted... Only to be hit by Ino the next day. "Just stay as you are" she and Shikamaru smiled "Maybe make a diet".

Kiba had hardly changed. If anything could ever break him in his natural wild habits and turn his head, it would be girls. Yes, Kiba found a new interest other than dogs. It was one month after the war had ended, when his team visited Kurenai and her son. Hinata asked him to buy flowers, since she was getting a toy for the baby. So he did. When he entered the flower shop, he wasn't sure if the scent of the flowers were responsibe for the slight dizziness he felt, or his long-time friend, who he had known since the academy. Of course he had seen the blonde, quirky girl countless of times, talked to her before, even argued every now and then, but there she was, in the midst of some beautiful flowers she was arranging. Her back was facing the door, but when the bells rang, she instantly turned her head and gave him the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen. '_Stunning_...' was everything he could think. To Kiba, flowers never seemed so uninteresting and dull than in that particular moment.

Shino stopped being butthurt for being left out on that one mission almost 8 years ago, still he made sarcastic comments about it and explain himself afterward anyway, when Naruto didn't seem to get it. After being forgotten for approximately the 100.000 time in his entire life, he started believing in a family curse, that made every member of the Aburame clan turn into air, until every villager will completely forget about their existence. He fears, it will come with age.

To say that Hinata was happier than she was 10 years ago, would be an understatement. She felt herself getting stronger everyday, the bonds she had with her little sister, her cousin and her father were stable than ever, she accepted her floating boobs and she stopped fainting every time she saw Naruto. In fact, she could hold a ten minute conversation with him without stuttering once; she even told him jokes and couldn't hold back her own smiles whenever she made him laugh. At last, the clansmen saw what potential she held as the next leader and most of them were content with her development. Finally her father constantly trained with her and her younger sister on the same level and once in a hundred years he showed the fatherly love she had often longed for. She was sure he had to kick dead animals after that, though.

Her cousin had never felt so happy before. A few months after the war, Neji addressed the subject regarding main and branch family again. It was during a clan's meeting when he stopped silencing the words he had on his heart for way too long. Traditions are okay, as long as they don't make little boys depressive and go berserk and experience years of suppression, which has nothing to do with puberty. To his surprise it was Hinata and her father who approved and convinced the elder ones. The day the branch family got rid of their marks, he felt as light as never before. He rushed to Konoha's pet stores and brought every bird he saw and set them free. Unfortunately some where used to their cages... and that's how Hyuuga Neji accidentally got himself a parrot.

Lee was so amazed by the ongoings in his best friend's/rival's life to set animals free that he once broke into a laboratory to free rabbits, who laboratory assistants used for experiments. "My suit should not be the only green thing on me!" he declared laughing and patted his new baby rabbit, Bunny Foo Foo.

Tenten was rather irritated by Lee's suggestion to form a secret team and free each and every caged animal in Konoha. "Team Paws!" he shouted, tears glistening in his fiery eyes, but he only got hit by Tenten's huge fan. They were shinobi, dammit, not some kind of animal lovers! But she would have never admitted to once have stolen Bunny Foo Foo when Lee was out on a short mission. "He needed food!" she whined when Neji found them on the riverside. "He is gone for no more than 8 hours and I am pretty sure he stuffed his bowl with feed." he smirked, his blank forehead now shining in the light of the sinking sun. "Shut up!" Tenten murmured and stomped away with the rabbit in her hands.

Yes, time passes and friendships remain. That's why Ino once decided to throw a party for her friends (and to get herself a dude, but nobody needed to know). But as much (or less) as our favourite shinobi change, something stays the same: their body tolerance level regarding happy juice, alcohol.

Want to learn more about the different types of drunk shinobi? Then please continue...


	2. Lee

When everyone arrived at Ino's, they immediately started drinking. Each of them had already heard about the effects of alcohol and almost everybody successfully avoided that evil juice.

But there are moments when you simply say "Ugh. Fuck it." and the drink goes down. And it's awesome.

Luckily Ino had a huge mansion and thank whatever-you-believe-in: her parents were away for the weekend. They turned the music as loud as they wanted, screamed and shouted (mostly at each other), jumped up and down (which one shinobi described as 'sexy dancing); alcohol was spilled everywhere and on everyone and food was carelessly thrown on the floor.  
Oh, it was a mess, but every time they talked about it (without their heads feeling heavy as a gorilla's butt) they couldn't help but smile...

Now, the affected persons whose drunk states are about to be brilliantly described, would never admit that they could ever behave like that. There are professionals, for heaven's sake! But even shinobi should be able to handle a little hangover...

* * *

Rock Lee aka the _I-know-I'm-sexy-_drunk:

It was about midnight, when our favourite pair of bushy brows stumbled inside the living room, where most of his friends were. Some of them were furiously dancing and knocking down some pretty expensive looking vases, some were in the next room, shouting along with Sasuke, who was singing his heart out to an old Fall Out Boy song and Lee could have sworn that Hinata touched his very unholy body part, the moment he passed her. When he turned around he could only see her smirking and then disappear into the kitchen, where he heard Naruto screaming. But nobody else seemed to care and neither did sweet little Lee. Of course he missed his baby rabbit, Bunny Foo Foo. That was only the 16th evening they would not be spending together. Sighing he turned to his friends again and smiled. How happy he was with his life.

Lee downed another drink and joined his friends on the dancefloor, when suddenly his grin got wider. "This is totally my song!" Ino shouted._ 'Hehe, not only yours!_' Lee thought and started moving his body to Miley Cyrus' "We can't stop".

'_Wow... I've always known that I am double-jointed but I had no idea I look so sexy with my hips moving like __**this**__'_ he thought and looked at himself in the mirror while dancing. Once he quickly glanced at his friends, seeing them moving in their own worlds to that song. _'...Nobody's moves quite as exquisite as I do'_ he smirked and watched the reflection of his butt. In that moment he realized that he stopped dancing and focused on staring at himself in the mirror. _'Why are so many people creeped out by bushy eyebrows? Their manly, represent strength and are god damn sexy!' _he thought, wiggling his eyebrows. The song ended and his favourite one came up. Suddenly he had an awesome idea. _'Gai-sensei! I will prove everyone the real beauty of the spandex!_' with that the jumped into the midst of of his dancing friends "Of course I know what to do with that big fat butt!" he shouted with his arms held high. "WIGGLE WIGGLE WIGGLE!" and then he started to move. "Sexy" he whispered to himself "So sexy". That night Rock Lee twerked his soul out.

Later that night (after a few very mild strawberry shots), he "mistook" one of Yamanaka's floor lamps with a pole. "We found love in a hoooopeless place" he sung while swaying from left to right, up to down, heaven to hell and back. And then he felt really hot. Physically hot. But (according to him), it wasn't because he danced so much - the reason his hotness was simply... Lee himself. So he did what he thought was the best idea he ever had. He began to strip.

_'Oh no'_ Shino thought.

"Oh yeah!" Hinata celebrated.

"Tenten!" Tenten slurred.

"Go go, Bushy Brows!" Naruto yodeled while mixing himself another drink.

Lee didn't care that he broke the lamp. At least he was in his underwear now, for everybody to finally see how gorgeous he really is.

The next day, Lee was the last to wake up. Being a drunken-fist-master, he was used to hangovers, but this one almost killed him. He could barely keep his eyes open, his mouth felt like an abandoned desert and it felt like Choji was sitting on his head. None of his friends was ready to give him an answer why he woke up nude, since they felt pretty much like crap themselves. So he went home, thinking that he lost his virginity, but had no idea to whom. He just remembered being alone with Sakura once.

His friends' statements about the _Lee-type-of-drunk_:

Ino: "I knew it was him who broke the lamp! Just like he broke anything else! He should be happy I was too hungover to beat the crap out of him the next day! My parents almost killed me when they saw the destroyed vases, mirrors, lamps **and** the bathroom door!" she said with her face getting redder every second.

Neji: "I remember him kissing his own reflection in the mirror. At first, I was really happy that he seemed to accept his whole self, but then it simply became disturbing." he said frowning his oh so blank forehead.

Sai: "The party bored me so much that I quickly fell asleep. Once I was woken up because everybody around me was screaming and clapping and whistling. I sat up and saw Lee swinging around a lamp and he was almost naked. I swear Hinata pinned 500 Ryo to his boxers..."

Sakura: "When I was in the bathroom he broke the door and tried to force me into strip poker. He was already naked!" she blushed "But he left as soon as I said no, so no hard feelings" she shrugged.

Lee himself said that it was one of the most important experience he'd ever had, although he tried his best not to hide from his friends because he felt so ashamed, although he didn't remember everything. Still he recalled that he had fun, doing whatever his drunk ego liked to do.  
"I am happy that I'm not only belligerent when I am drunk... But I guess the next party will have to wait" he added with an innocent smile

_A/N:  
Ta-dah! I've never been this kind of drunk, so it was kinda tough to write from this perspective._  
_But I still hope you enjoyed it! _  
_Stay awesome,_  
_Mia :)_


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